A Brother's Words; A Sister's Thoughts by Cindy Campbell

"Without the darkness, you would never know the light" -Yogi Tea tab  I AM one of "those" people! I love quotes and bits of written inspiration. The right one always seems to appear at the time I need it most. This one seemed perfect for the moment. Each of us have or will face struggles in life. The challenges will be different, and facing physical and emotional pain can bring you to your knees. Nels has dreamt about and trained for this transcontinental run for four years. Prior to this he has undertaken other endurance events that some would perceive to be crazy. When you are doing hard things (for example, riding a bicycle across the U.S. twice and running from Florida to D.C.), having a why during the darkness can be your guide as you focus on your goal, which at times can be dampened by doubt, hampered by hallucinations and impeded by injuries. Attempting to break a record is no easy task; the percentage of people who have even tried is miniscule....

 Hey Cindy, I was just walking down the street here in Olongapo, Philippines and saw this little cyber-cafe, thought I would drop a line… could you do a favor for me? Please, with kitten paws pushing on your belly! I just came out of the field for a few days and a few nights ago, while lying in a hammock in the pouring rain, while checking the time; it was passing dreadfully slow… I had time to reflect on the past, that's what happens when counting the seconds waiting for life to "end". …I'm doing okay. You take care, and I'll chat with you soon!! Safe, Chris Chris was 25 years old when he emailed me the above request. He was asking me to reach out to someone that was special to him and convey birthday wishes. I kept many of my brothers cards, letters and emails to me with the intent to pass them back to him after his career in the Navy ended. Chris was sentimental, and I thought he might like to revisit his military journey through his messages to me...

Most of the posts I have written in this blog have come to me very easily, guided by my brother's words - our shared memories through his writing to me. This one has been difficult. Why? It's the day. What does it mean? Why is this day "special"? It's one I wish never had to exist! It's not the date. Every day is important to someone. It can be viewed with great happiness and, on the flip side, a day can also be one of great emotional pain. That's how life works, right? The Gold Star Flag  The last Sunday in September is of great significance to some. Before I proceed, let me introduce you to Grace Darling Seibold. Grace was a woman and a mother who chose to be a comfort to others by spending time volunteering at a hospital in D.C. Reading her story made her why clear. There was a day when her mailbox no longer contained letters from her son, yet she continued her visits to the hospital. Maybe her son would be admitted without identification; she would kn...

Although I don't recall our mom verbally telling us to 'pay attention' to all that is happening around us, she helped us see the beauty in our surroundings and shared natural observations with us that cultivated an awe and respect of nature. This influence impacted Chris throughout his life and is evident in his emails and letters to me. In May 2000, he spent time in Thailand. It was there he had a pendant made for me, which I wore daily when he was deployed. During this stay, he also had adventures that were quite different from anything we experienced growing up.  In three different emails, Chris wrote about elephants. Google, in its infinite repository of knowledge, provided great insight into these magnificent creatures. They have close family bonds, are spirited, playful, protective and have excellent memories. Whether my brother knew this or not, he had similar attributes. Since today, September 22nd, is National Elephant Appreciation Day, it seemed like the perfect t...

Hello!                                                                                               From Japan, I greet you. I am doing well and trust you are also. We've been on and off the island for about three weeks now and wow, my head's spinning. On the flight over we stopped in Honolulu, Hawaii for the night. Stayed in the Outrigger Resort in Waikiki, was great. I finally got to view the infamous "Pink Panther" that I was [born] in. The next day of our travel our taxi took us to a small island called Kwajalein in the Marshall Island Chain. A small and beautiful paradise that I might actually go and work one day. Interesting story, I'll tell...

It's September 10th, and Nels is 3 days into his 'Run Across America'. He is "climbing" Yosemite as I write this! Nels has made reference to this run being "chosen suffering". Although he's been training for a few years now, today he is going to earn his breakfast , lunch and dinner! He has a great support team (Kerrie & Ella) who will ensure his hydration, caloric intake and physical well-being are expertly managed throughout the day. Once he completes his mileage, an R.V. awaits with an amazing massage therapist (Denise), dinner to refuel and a good night's sleep. The routine will begin again tomorrow at 3 a.m. on September 11th. --------------------------------- Emails to me from Chris dated 7/31 & 8/2/00:   "Today, we had a good P.T. (work out). We did a burn-out calisthenic, then a swim/obstacle course. It hurt!! You would jump off this pier, swim about 100 yards, with fins on, climb a rope (using no legs) about 20 ft to the t...

August 22, 2000 - Email from Chris: "I am re-enlisting in November for 3 years, but I have been searching the net for firefighter positions. I someday would like to land a federal job doing something of that magnitude. It just feels so nice being so close to freedom!! I could actually grow long hair again before it falls out!! Not that I do this job for the money, but after this cruise and experiencing "different" and new things, I have realized that I don't want to continue doing this for an extended amount of time. I would like to enjoy life and not put myself in "harms" way so much. I'll be honest with you. I never hesitated at any moment, but the human deep down inside of this shell was scared a few times and understood how life is nothing but a flash!!" --------------- Over the years I've heard many people say "I wish I could've met your brother". My typical response is "you have". There are heroes among us, if we c...

Chris called me before his last deployment in June 2011. I was so happy to hear his voice, and it was a great phone call. We had a lot to catch up on in that conversation. Our next correspondence occurred a few weeks later via email. On July 3rd, I sent Chris a message. Due to being out of the country and the nature of his work, I learned that it could be a while before I received a response. It always made my day when I logged on and saw my brother's email address! I moved the end of 2010 and was sharing about my new place and that I returned to my former home to visit those I left behind and said, " I miss my friends - that's the hardest thing about being so far away ." Chris responded with, " glad you were able to go back for a visit, and yes, leaving friends behind is always the toughest thing about moving... I guess the only way to help adjust is immerse yourself in an exterior pastime... always helps me !". It was what I needed to hear and from the one...

Although I can talk with almost anyone, I spend a lot of time in solace to recharge. Over the years, I have grown accustomed to this oddity in my personality and have learned to push myself; however, there are certain "eventful" days when I know it's better to keep firm boundaries in place and hunker down. Memorial Day is one of those. Hearing from people who knew and love Chris has been really helpful through the years, especially because their memories with Chris bolster me on difficult days. Each relationship Chris had was dear to his heart, and each person who knew Chris holds a piece of his beautiful life's puzzle. My brother's life is truly celebrated when individuals are willing to kindly offer their piece. Chris' best friend, Joe, recently shared several stories and has given me permission to pass them along on this National Day of Remembrance - Memorial Day.  --------------------------------- "The year we graduated [from high school] my nephew, Z...

Not too long ago, I had the great joy of hearing some remarkable stories from Chris' best friend, Joe. He referenced my mom in his recollections and since it's Mother's Day, I thought it would be perfect to share one of his special memories from when he first met Chris, with his permission. Thank you, Joe! "I met Chris in August, 1991, on the practice field for White Oak High School football prior to the start of our junior year. I had a 1969 MG and Chris, being the opportunist that he always was, asked me to give him a ride home after practice. And Mrs. Campbell, being the kind-hearted, second mother that she ultimately became for me , let us eat all the corn dogs she had in the freezer. It was the first day of a friendship that grew into something so much more. Chris and I were inseparable. I grew up in the area and had friends that I had known since kindergarten, but my bond with Chris was different. Even after that first day, I felt like I knew him all of my life. ...

Do you have moments in life that make you ask yourself, are you kidding me? Shortly after my brother was killed, I had one of those moments. Learning that Chris left a wish that 100,000 people would donate to Wounded Warrior Project (WWP) fit the "are you kidding me?" criteria, in a big way! I had never heard of WWP before August 6th, 2011. My google search made my heart fill with pride as I started going through the website. They serve ALL branches of the military and ALL ranks. Race, religion or gender does not matter! If someone served in the military after 9/11, the programs and services offered by WWP are there for them. The organization exists "to help foster the most successful, well-adjusted generation of wounded service members in our nation’s history".  My brother, a little kid from a town in North Carolina, grew up to be a member of one of the most elite military forces, and in spite of that, retained a sense of compassion for others as he considered his ...

On June 21st, 2000, Chris emailed me from a cyber-cafe in the Phillipines. He and a few others took a tour of Corregidor Island. He wrote "If you are not up on your military history, this little island was the last stronghold that the U.S. and Phillipines were holding against Japan in WW2. This is the place where General MacArthur said those famous words, ' I shall return '. I am getting goosebumps typing!!"  While on this trip, Chris had a particularly interesting encounter. "And, get this, this little guy that lived in the hills and fished for a living sold me this original dog tag that he dug up in the jungle. The moment I saw it I just [knew I] have to return it to the family that it belongs to. The soldier's name was Michael P. from Pittsburgh, PA. His wife's name and their home address is on the tag. This is my mission. I choose to accept. I will be so happy to find them and return it!" Chris ended this email to me by suggesting I call our mom ...

What does it mean to be a  Warrior Queen?  It’s a lifetime of care and love that often goes unseen. For there is no glory at the very start, when a mother first hears the beat of a brave heart. Days turn to weeks as she watches her belly grow. She will soon deliver a hero the world has yet to know. Her heart melted when handed her sweet bundle of joy. It was love at first sight for this mother and baby boy. Protecting and guiding little steps is no easy feat. The challenge of parenting can be bittersweet. Diapers to change and tears to wipe away. Picnics, birthdays and ball games to watch and play. In the blink of an eye, he donned cap and gown. His quest for adventure meant he would soon be leaving town. He felt alive with the sand between his toes and surfboard in hand. The roar of the ocean was with him as he left to serve our homeland. His mother continued her silent prayers for his body and soul. The safe return of this grown, young man had become her goal. Her quiet vigi...

The band One Republic has so many great songs, and 'I Lived' is one of them. From the time my brother was a little boy, he had an indomitable spirit. Boundaries were meant to be broken, challenges charged head on, and fear seemed to be a foreign concept to our family's curly, reddish-brown-haired and twinkly-eyed tyke. This stanza from this song is Chris personified, "I owned every second that this world could give, I saw so many places, the things that I did, yeah, with every broken bone, I swear I lived".  My mom shared that she was recently asked, "does it get any easier?", by another mother who is just learning to live with a broken heart. No, was the simple answer. Twelve years into her grief journey, my mom says, "we visit the hurt and the pain, but we cannot afford to stay there. It will make you go crazy. Focus on the love and the memories!" With that, it seems fitting on my brother's special day to share memories from birthdays pas...

October 28, 2003 Hello All. Trust everyone is doing well. I may not have talked to you in some time and for that I sincerely apologize... Sometimes we all get caught up in things that seem important that we fail to realize what should matter most . Family, friends and our well-being we seem to take for granted. At this hour, I am trying to think of a way to remember a man from which I learned quiet humility ... Chris M was a friend, a teammate, an American. He was taken from us... Back in September some friends and I had a little bonfire on a quiet stretch of beach near Crown Point in San Diego. Chris showed up during the night wearing a large wool coat. He sure looked comfortable!! As we talked and swapped stories of past adventures, he said that he was the happiest he had ever been. He said life was going great, the only thing he was missing was someone to share it with... As I left for Iraq on 2 Oct., Chris told me goodbye and "see you when I see you". Chris left shortly t...

Life provides many opportunities to reflect. Birthdays are one such occasion. Today, September 16th, is my brother's birthday. As I have reread his letters to share them with you over this past year, I have been astounded at the many life lessons Chris passed along to me. In the spirit of celebrating his life and what would have been his 48th birthday, I present to you... 48 lessons from my brother, who became a Navy SEAL. 1.  Live in the moment - unexpected scenarios will arise. 2.  Be present - opportunities for joy exist.  3.  Play - every minute is precious. 4.  Stay active - you'll live longer. 5.  Be comfortable being alone - some of the best times are spent in solace. 6.  Don't follow the crowd - adventure awaits. 7.  Notice the beauty around you - it's everywhere. 8.  Define your happy place - enjoy it. 9.  Live life unregretfully - make choices that will help you achieve your goals. 10. Have fun - time passes quickly. 11. Connec...

8/30/00 Hi Hi Hi Hi hi hi; Still in Okinawa, our flight has been delayed, we leave on the 2nd now. Well, the typhoon passed around us! Frank and I surfed the last three days till we were dead tired. One day the surf was so perfect, it looked like out of a magazine!! Life is good!! I actually sold two boards. I have one left, for big waves. It worked perfect for me this week. We are in limbo right now, just waiting for a ride. Just playing all day, no worries!! Have you kept to your program? Every day that passes and you are not active, it takes hours off your life, you selfish girl. You better outlive me!! How is the employment business treating you? Any more luck? Gonna go eat lunch. I am thin, like a pencil. But my hair is better than an eraser!! Love, Chris ________________________ A few months ago, I shared a very private experience with members of the Project Campbell's Call team. I've debated internally about sharing it publicly. Today seemed to be the day to do it. The ...

07/08/00 Hello non one-liner at the moment!! Yes, I would like to write anyway, because I know I would like to read mail also... hint... for the future... Had two days off, and guess what I did... ok, good guess!! I went about 1 1/2 hours South, then took a boat to a wonderful paradise here in Thailand... the Island's name is Koh Samet. Went alone and ended up being the best time I have had in quite some time. Got off the boat, tourists went one way, so I looked the other and just followed my feet... Walked about 2 hours through jungle, over cliffs, and popped upon this little spot right in a beautiful cove. The water was so blue, the sand a sugary white and lazy little trees at the waters edge. I put up my hammock and drifted off to my happy place, with the gentle waves lapping at the shore, just steps from where I napped. I awoke a few hours later and was thirsty and a little hungry!! So with no food or water, headed back to the little beach cottages. Found a tucked away little p...

I hope you have enjoyed getting to know my brother, a little bit, through his letters that I have shared up to this point. The letter today is Chris' last one to me before he graduated from Basic Training. Although he continued to send postcards and cards, most of our correspondence transitioned to email as a result of the introduction of computers and technology. I look forward to your joining me on this continued journey back in time.                           18 Jan 97 Just wrote yesterday, but had a little time on my hands. Also, I found this Brochure in our Division. If Mom & Dad haven't sent you these papers, I asked: here is an outline of Hotels & Prices that surround Great Lakes. The schedule will be that on Thurs, 30th of Jan we have a Mom & Pop night where we can have visitors for a few hours. Then the next morning you will come back & we will Pass-in-Review around 9:00 am, I think! Mom & Dad ...