Our Final Correspondence

Chris called me before his last deployment in June 2011. I was so happy to hear his voice, and it was a great phone call. We had a lot to catch up on in that conversation. Our next correspondence occurred a few weeks later via email. On July 3rd, I sent Chris a message. Due to being out of the country and the nature of his work, I learned that it could be a while before I received a response. It always made my day when I logged on and saw my brother's email address! I moved the end of 2010 and was sharing about my new place and that I returned to my former home to visit those I left behind and said, "I miss my friends - that's the hardest thing about being so far away." Chris responded with, "glad you were able to go back for a visit, and yes, leaving friends behind is always the toughest thing about moving... I guess the only way to help adjust is immerse yourself in an exterior pastime... always helps me!". It was what I needed to hear and from the one person in my life who could say it in a way that flipped the switch in my mind. He was happy for me, validated my feelings, and made a gentle suggestion that completely made sense. My "baby" brother got me!

On July 19th, 2011, Chris called me from Afghanistan. I emailed him the next day, "Thanks so much for calling last night - good to hear from you!! Love, Cindy" A few days later he responded with a picture of a car with a tree log serving as a bumper. Chris said, "Here's the Colorado license plate I mentioned... was on a work sponsored climbing trip to Boulder and when left the Marriott one morning, saw the car, and had to take a picture!! Hope all is well, C" We had another email exchange where I told him about a silly event I attended. Chris responded laughing and saying, "thanks for sharing the story. By the way, I loved the bumper on that car, how cool, and practical right!! ...Their fender won't bend...in a fender bender!!! Have a good day... Chris".

I had no idea these phone calls and email exchanges would be our final correspondence. Would I have chosen different words? Were there words that remain unspoken? 

Photo taken by Chris Campbell, my brother

The past couple years I've been preoccupied and scrambling to keep up with life - working too many hours to count and processing and prioritizing all that needs to be done on a fixer upper I decided to tackle. It was the perfect scenario that allowed me to relegate heavier thoughts to the basement of my brain. At the moment, the pace has changed. I'm dog sitting an incredible canine who was saved from death row eight years ago and fostering an abandoned feline who called a parking lot home for seven years. It's a different schedule, and I feel scattered - not making the progress I anticipated. I feel like I'm in an "in-between" time as the calendar moves forward towards... "the" day.

In 2013, I discovered a part of a poem by George Herbert: "By all means use sometimes to be alone, Salute thyself: See what thy soul doth wear. Dare to look in thy chest; for 'tis thine own: And tumble up and down what thou find'st there, Who cannot rest till he good fellows find, He breaks up house, turns out of doors his mind."

So many I know are in different phases of their lives and even through the challenges they are facing, I'm inspired by them daily. I am grateful for them and their presence in my life as I witness their consistent acts of kindness that go unnoticed by the masses. If you are reading this and your "internal bumper" isn't solid, like the log on the car in Colorado, I would like to encourage you. Take some time to be alone. When your roots are solid, you've found your footing and are ready to branch out, find a cause, get outside (as my brother called it - an "exterior pastime") and go full throttle. If you aren't sure where to start, visit volunteermatch.org and type in your zip code. Plenty of people and pets need an everyday hero or heroine! They need YOU!

Soon,
Cindy
Proud Sister of Christopher George Campbell, US Navy
September 16, 1974 - 8/6/11
"The greatest casualty is being forgotten" -WWP